(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is the 9'th blog on my journey)

First - My apologies. When I pledged to writing this, my commitment was to keep it fairly current without resorting to dragging out the smallest details. It's now about been about 2 1/2 weeks, but that leads me to the newest phase of my experiences - "It's pretty well become all about me."

Chemo was completed, and a week later the 35 radiation sessions were finally finalized on November 14'th. And during this time is where my thoughts, feelings, and state of well-being were taken over by a new physicality of the healing process. This has been an intense period where I awoke and dreaded whatever and however many pains that day would bring. While my brain was telling me "Good job Jay! You finished the chemo and radiation! Healing's on the way!", my body was on a completely different page of a new and strange book. A real "page-turner", every chapter twists, turns, and contorts you emotionally and physically.

Based on our typical, built up over the years medical experiences, I expect that when we get ill or injured, we follow a prescribed treatment for a certain length of time and... we get better. Throw this conventional thought process out when dealing with cancer! I really, honestly felt the fight rage within me between my past healing experiences and this newest "treatment's done - now you are really going to experience things". Only in the last day or two have I been able to step away from this conflict and assess and recognize that all of my focus has been on me. While the searing intensity of the past few weeks makes it easy for me to readily accept this, I am now surprised at how everything "non-me" has been blocked out. It also brings back that the medical professionals did provide some warnings about the lingering chemo and radiation effects, but there is no way they could have put a factor on them because "Everyone handles it differently".

By now you have figured out that my post chemo and radiation time has not gone quite as expected. You would be correct. Everything is still on track towards healing and a cure. However, it would be difficult to quantify the levels of discomfort when compounded with the perceived angst of not healing when you think you should be. 

This most recent, negative phase has thrown everyone here a curve. Many comments during the prior treatment process were directed at how well I appeared to handle whatever was directed to me, and how strong I was in my fight against cancer. And we all therefore believed that this would continue throughout. In fact, I expected that from me. It truly was nice to hear compliments, and that motivated me in the same positive direction.

Therefore, it is important that I take pause and remember the "why's" of my treatment. This is also the time to review, respect, and thank the countless people who have said or are saying prayers in support of my full recovery. It's also important for me to put the past few weeks in perspective (and hopefully leave them there). But most importantly, I need to reestablish a positive approach in my fight against cancer. I just visited "the dark side" for a couple weeks...and I am not the better for it.

Almost everyone concurs on one point - a positive approach is the most important aspect in fighting cancer. The last phase (post chemo/radiation) pulled me away from that mindset - albeit for a short while.

Again moving forward, I have etched out the differences felt when challenging this miserable, miscreant disease from a positive perspective. One cannot put up a weak or neutral posture in this fight - cancer preys upon this.

Lessons learned... 

(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is the 8'th blog on my journey)

Week 4 brought me the very welcome news that my tumor was shrinking. The relief - immediate! And Colleen and I now had something to build on looking forward. And ... I freely admit it - I immediately did countdowns on just about everything related to the illness and cure. How many more chemo IV sessions; how many radiation treatments; how many days for this/weeks for that... How many more plastic bottles of fine, vintage Boost/Ensure to accompany my main courses of pudding or chicken broth??

But, out of nowhere - an unexpected swerve in my thinking process. The rationalization of; treatment of; and living with cancer  precludes giving a lot of thought to anything else. I recognized the need to re-indoctrinate back with family, friends, and co-workers. 

**My co-workers at Automatic Entrances of Wisconsin have been supportive to the max. They understood where it is appropriate to bring my health challenge into their conversations with customers, and the context to use it. The open, forthright approach on my part has made it easier for them to address and move past my cancer in their jobs...

**Friends now breeze past the initial awkwardness of the "first" cancer conversation. As soon as you add "The tumor is shrinking", the conversational tone lightens up and optimism dominates your talk.

**The "Kids" understand and appreciate the concrete statement - "The tumor is shrinking". Their mindsets, rightfully so, tell them "Tumor gone - Cancer gone".

**Sister, brother, mother, in-laws, cousins and more all explore the myriad of following questions generated by this phrase. And these are pleasant, welcomed conversations.

**Colleen now goes into the fully-protective mode. Her relief at the good news is self-evident, but her RN experience dictates that every rule is to followed - to the end. No cheating on menu; prescriptions are maintained; rest; every treatment appointment will be kept, etc.. And suddenly the Christmas Menu is wide-open for discussion (Does Boost come in a Turkey or ham flavor?).

...And she quietly looks to me for a small acknowledgement of what she has experienced emotionally and physically over the past few months...

Thank you - Colleen! 

Me? ...Truth is - the experts tell you chemo and radiation effects will compound as treatment times run on. And I would offer - the experts are correct on this as well. I am fortunate to have a pat answer to use in a conversation when asked  "Hey Jay - How are you feeling?"

While good "luck" seems to be avoiding me recently, it's great to be able to answer - "Better - The tumor is shrinking." 

 

Next: "The end of chemo therapy!"

 

 

 

 

(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is the 6'th blog on my journey)

"First thing we will schedule will be the mask-fitting and..."

What's this about a mask-fitting? Well, as I have recently learned, you are positioned "just-so" during radiation treatments to ensure absolute accuracy. To accomplish this, a personalized, whole-head mask is used. You, the patient, are aligned in a treatment position while the plastic is heated and than fitted.  They then bring you over to their side by whispering "This is your special mask, and it will only be used by you..." I have an exclusive, personalized mask reserved for only my use - Excellent!  Except...I looked in a mirror and now bear a striking resemblance to Hannibal Lecter. And what's with this sudden urge for fava beans? 

Treatments were scheduled by Dr.Stuart Wong - the Chemo Oncologist, and Dr. Dian Wang - The Radiation Oncologist. There would be 7 chemo treatments (a great way to start every Monday for 7 weeks), and 35 radiation sessions (daily for 7 weeks). The chemo was started a week prior and it's role in my treatment is to make the cancer cells more susceptible to the radiation.

The chemo is roughly a 2 1/2 hr. IV drip in a quiet, relaxing environment. TV, beverages, great views, and a recliner all combine to make the time pass comfortably. Radiation is a little more intimidating...

The radiation treatment area is comprised of several enclaves with different equipment in many. My specific area, LinAcc 2, has a CAT scanner and a linear accelerator at opposing ends of a rotating bed-bench. My treatment team - Jean, Brian, and Kayla, are as precise as a Swiss watch. The patient lays down carefully positioned to duplicate the identical spot on the bench every time. And than "my" mask is brought to me. The mask is placed over your head and the frame on the back of it is clamped to the bench. The Team takes time to explain the need for exactness - they are aiming the radiation pattern to sub-millimeter dimensions to avoid unnecessary damage to the adjacent tissues. And, if you smile nicely (and bring in scrumptious cookies) they will provide you with a musical background to fit your moods.

My mask and I are inserted into the CAT scanner where images are taken daily for comparison and alignment. When complete - I am rotated 180 degrees directly under/within the LinAcc unit which then delivers the radiation. This process takes about 45-50 minutes and I consider myself fortunate to be under the watchful eye of my team. Brian (a known Cubs fan!), brings a wry irony which belies his age; Jean's humanism is sincere and comforting; and Kayla's quick smile and efficient work help transform an impersonal room into a caring area of healing.

Given the "unknown" of what I was facing, I admit to having had something between trepidation and cold, wet fear starting off. After two weeks, in an error of epic proportions, I felt compelled to boastfully announce to anyone who would listen that "I'm doing better than they expected..."

How absolutely ignorant, self-serving, and premature!

The doctors and staff gently (and I think I detected ...smugly?) suggested "Don't let the first two weeks fool you..."

Trust me - I now know that they know!

 

NEXT: "Progress in the fight..."

 

 

 

(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is 5'th blog on my journey)

Finally, the shock of cancer has settled in and I am in full-battle mode. It is time to quickly absorb what the experts are telling us and move forward with "The Cure". The sooner we start with treatment, the sooner my life and my family's life can resume normalcy. The good Dr. Campbell has told me I have the aforementioned, so let's move quickly and decisively.

Except....

"I need a PET Scan and a biopsy to confirm the type and location of the cancer?" What?!  I've already accepted it's what Dr. Campbell said - now let's get going!

But that's not how it works. I really had accepted this cancer and found myself wanting to start the curative process (before the rules could change...). 

And now the wait - when the doubts inside you build: "What if the cancer has spread? What if they find it's a completely different cancer? What if this now unidentified cancer is not curable???" And yet you remain strong to your family while honestly worrying deep inside on how a change in news could impact their lives...

"Mr. Walt - Good news - the cancer is exactly what we suspected and where we thought it would be."

This perverted disease twists and turns you and your family inside out - emotionally and physically.

The best underlying message to the above was we could now proceed with a preselected combined treatment of 7 chemo and 35 radiation sessions. Education from many sources at Froedtert also became important as nutritionists, "journey coordinators", counselors and more weighed-in.

And as Colleen and I made decisions, I internally experienced what could best be called a huge burst of optimism. I was being given treatment choices which, if followed, would provide a very good cure rate - and that means we win - and the cancer loses!  

But as we were to learn shortly, cancer does not lose easily, nor does it relinquish it's tenacious grasp within your body readily.

 

NEXT: "Don't be fooled by how you feel the first two weeks..." 

 

 

 

(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is 4'th blog on my journey)

 

The open approach of communication of my cancer began. Family, close friends, business associates, and more were called personally. The goal: to properly inform without a lot of room for conjecture or misinterpretation. And almost immediately the phone started ringing... Call upon call with questions; offers of support; expressed sympathy; similar health challenges; which presidential candidate do we support?; shared pain; and "How are the kids doing?"

Embarrassment at being the center of attention during the first calls turned to bewilderment that so many people took time out from their lives to express concern over ours. And it quickly snowballed - cards, emails, letters, everything short of YouTube. And all this while - Colleen and I were at Froedtert for tests, biopsies, doctor appointments, and a treatment plan and schedule developed. And did I mention I had a real job with real co-workers and a real workload?

And yet the support rolls in.... Somewhere "Up There" they are wondering who this "Walt Guy" suddenly is because they are working OT and straining under the volumes of prayers which have been, are being, and will be said on my behalf. I checked "Up There" to send thank you's and found the prayer bookeeping a little lax. I would have to pay a small fee via PayPal to get these records...sigh....

On the personal front, I am emotionally bouyed by the sheer numbers of families who have pledged positive thoughts to our family. Early on, one could sense these uplifting messages comforted both myself and, more importantly, my family. We shared with our kids. We downloaded and printed every supportive email. We read and re-read every card.

My wife asked me not to bring this up, but a group of our closest friends even threw a Cancer (Recovery) Party - in advance! In addition, my dentist, Dr. Dennis Abere, his wife, (one of the nicest couples - in the world!) and his staff sent cards, and special mouth and dental treatments to minimize the radiation and chemo effects.

I am literally blessed by this outpouring from our friends and this Waukesha Community. My cancer is, unfortunately,affecting the family right now. The support, prayers, and kind thoughts of many have had a huge impact on us.

Who could lose with this many determined supporters (can you tell it's election season?) willing a positive outcome?

 

NEXT: "Let's get on with it...."

(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is 3'rd blog on my journey)

My three children ages 19, 21, and 23 needed to be informed that I had cancer, but they also needed to hear some balance including our plan of attack to work towards a high cure rate. As parents, we all know the universal challenge of "selective hearing" with our kids. Ask them face-to-face to do a chore, and you might get an acknowledging grunt. Whisper to your wife from 2 rooms away that you are thinking of a Mexico Vacation, and the kids will immediately yell which weeks work best for their schedule... 

Our oldest was home, and the 2 younger are away at UW LaCrosse. How awful...how emotionally gut-wrenching to have to break news like this over a phone, but to wait would have only forestalled the inevitable. We arranged a speaker-phone conversation for Monday when Kelly, our oldest, would be back from a long weekend getaway. I rehearsed, rehearsed, and dreaded the call. I really had no "spin" - it would be "just the facts", with emphasis on the probability of a cure. This mental rehearsal also became the basis for how Colleen and I would communicate this to others moving forward. The only benefit to having to wait for Monday was that I was still grappling with my personal desire to let people know while allaying their concerns. The plan became obvious - Tell the full truth. My business sense took over - People just "know" when you believe what you are telling them, and they also can tell when a "snow-job" is being attempted.

We called - I spoke  calmly - the kid's reactions were as varied as their personalities - and my heart sank. One "too" quiet and two softly crying. One angry and another in denial. And one became withdrawn from the conversation...My hopes for some meaningful discourse on the subject - gone! But was I really surprised? I'm their "Dad", and by their definition - I am to be strong, in-charge, invulnerable, and funny. Instead - they heard "Cancer...wounded and concerned". But over the next days and weeks they dealt with this taboo subject in their individualized ways. They needed to see Colleen and I were continuing normal living (OK - Add about a few dozen doctors appointments in there). ...And it was right there - they were absorbing subtle cues from us! Our positive "Let's get on with the "Cure" approach was rubbing off and paying dividends with the younger Walts. That is gratifying and the best news I could have received.

And the "These are the facts" approach to conveying the message of cancer continues with my friends, associates, family, and others. All I ask is:

"During our conversation you will hear the word Cancer - please... please also hear the words Treatment and Cure!"

 

NEXT: Unbelievable and unexpected support...

(Note: On September 5th, 2008, I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Tongue Cancer - Stage 4. Following is 2nd blog on my journey)

 

My wife, Colleen, and I left the doctor's office very quietly - she with her thoughts, me with mine. While driving home, I worked to create a superficial conversation centered on the few "positives" I believed Dr. Campbell had given us:

"It can be cured; it would have been Stage 3 if the mass was slightly smaller; you are otherwise in good health; it will be a combo of radiation and chemo; Froedtert has an excellent team:..." were a few of the comments recalled. My wife - the nurse, was silent. It was obvious her experience in dealing with worse-case scenarios was dictating her thought processes right then. And the car went quiet as I respected her need to internally think her husband's cancer through. Switching to a classic rock station didn't seem quite appropriate about then. And I was now alone with my thoughts...

"How do I communicate this with others when I don't fully understand nor have I absorbed the news delivered an hour before? Where do I resource good internet information on this cancer? Who do I call and in what order? How do I package the message to minimize the obvious concern which will be directed to our family? How am I with cancer?....And What/when/and how does this message get conveyed to my 3 kids ages 19 - 23?"

During the next day, independent calls were made to several trusted friends with medical resources. First - Who is the preeminent doctor for this somewhat rare, 3% of the cancer population, cancer? Second - What should we additionally be asking and is Froedtert the place? Third - Does Froedtert have a machine with IMRT (Intensity modulated radiation therapy) radiation capabilities? The answers were unanimous: Get Dr. Bruce Campbell (He diagnosed the cancer!) - Froedtert is the place and we now had many questions ready for them - Froedtert has a brand new IMRT linear accelerator which maximizes radiation with pinpoint, sub-millimeter precision to minimize damage to surrounding tissue.

I had frank discourse with Colleen on my desire to aggressively take on whatever treatment options were available, and my reliance on her to understand and interpret the myriad of medical terms, phrasings, etc to come. (Somehow I didn't feel my construction-related job experiences were good prep courses for the nuances of Latin medical terminology)  The different possibilities surrounding the "What, When, and How do I tell people ranging from family to friends to business associates to casual acquaintances of this challenge?" were winnowed to being open, honest, and factual without self pity (Too late - I already have the disease) nor emotion (Let's get on, now, to a "Cure"). The sooner this moving-forward message could be personally delivered in this fashion, the better the hope to reduce concern from others (Most people have issues/challenges of their own and really don't need another cause for worry). 

And suddenly I honestly felt better! We were not being totally reactive to the news of Cancer - we were now doing something productive and positive! We were looking ahead instead of hand-wringing and indulging the "what-ifs" of the prior day. Our paths of informed decision-making and self-advocacy were being mapped out.

The disease cancer, and the treatment towards a cure for my tongue cancer might control our short-term schedule, but it was not going to rule my life!

 

NEXT: Delivering the message... and more tests

 At 1:45 PM on Friday September 5th, 2008, my future changed.

Actually, my future had been altered sometime earlier this year. I noticed a small lump on the left side of my neck. Being 55, I have gotten used to the bumps, lumps, and irregularities which accompany  the aging process. As Summer wound down, I visited my long-respected Dr. Dan Thompson for a routine physical...and a check of the now growing, disregarded bump. He ordered CT scans which showed "some mass - probably a cyst". Dr. Dan suggested Dr Bruce Campbell, a Director of Head and Neck Surgical Oncology at Froedtert Hospital.

Prior to our appointment at Froedtert, my wife Colleen - R.N., researched cysts. Working on this assumption, we were both dismayed to realize I was probably going to have a small scar just under my chin from the day surgery needed to remove the cyst. 2 days later we were at Froedtert for our quick in-and-out visit.

Dr. Campbell is the consummate professional. He was on time, thorough, and asked basic background. He did a routine mouth and throat exam, reviewed the CT screens and than brought out a laryngoscope to get a better view of my lower throat through my nose! This scope has a long "tendril-like" black hose with a bright lght and Hi-Def camera at the end. It films the journey downward (sound like a Disney reality ride?). Up the nose and down the throat it went with my wife and the good doctor watching the computer screen - I had my mouth open, eyes closed tightly, and breathed quite carefully. 

I sensed a subtle difference in the room as the tube snaked down...down...down. And then...the tube was retracted and I relaxed. Dr. Campbell suggested we watch the film while he explained what we were looking at. Way back and way down, at the base of the tongue, there was a "sore" and a golf-ball sized (1 1/4" diameter) "mass" - the obvious cyst I would have removed. My wife started weeping quietly and, to lessen the obvious tension and now believing the cyst scar would be bigger than expected, I asked Dr. Campbell to switch the computer to ch 30, ESPN for the Brewers Game...

"Mr. Walt, you have a Squamous Cell, Stage 4, Tongue Cancer..." "There is a tumor on the base of your tongue and it has spread to the adjacent cervical nodes(hence - the 1 1/4" lump)"

That room got very hot almost instantaneously, and perspiration flowed freely from my forehead. "It can be treated with radiation and chemotherapy..." My comprehension skills were dimming when I realized how Colleen had to be feeling and how much I needed to support her right then and there. She had just left a challenging healthcare meeting concerning her father to join me at Froedtert...and now her husband has "Cancer - Stage 4!"  That's more than most families should deal with in a decade, much less 2 hours apart. My "Head of the Family" instincts kicked-in and I asked about cure rates, types of and duration of treatments, could it be something-anything else?

It's amazing how one thinks in different planes during extreme moments of challenge. "How do I approach this with my kids, friends, co-workers, and business associates?" "How come I don't physically feel different with Cancer vs without?" "Why did this have to add to Colleen's concern for her Dad - and why now?" "Do I trust Dr. Campbell or do I need a second opinion?' "Now that I have Cancer, how quickly can we move forward with treatment?" These thoughts and hundreds more flew through my head while the doctor asked for additional in-depth medical history. My mind was racing..."I want to see my kids' weddings; I want to hold grandchildren; I want to be a part of my wife's life for years to come;  I don't want people worrying about me; This was not supposed to happen now; I need to be an exemplary strong patient; Why am I not afraid?; I absolutely insist on maintaining a sense of humor; I don't want to be a burden to my family; my kids and Colleen will take their cues from me..." And the doctor's questions continued...

And on that day, and I don't know or question why, there is one thought which never entered my mind - "Why me?"

It can only be rationalized as how blessed I must be to have this many people who mean so much to me... 

 

NEXT: Colleen and me - Alone... 

POLITICAL:

Are the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates collecting money, re-grouping, and catching a spirited 2'nd wind for the home stretch? (Or has everyone, including the press, lost complete interest because they all are starting to sound the same?)

When will someone explain why being "Tough on Crime?" is so vitally important in the Gableman vs Butler Supreme Court election? (And no..."just because" doesn't work for me)

Why has Waukesha Mayor Larry Nelson (a declared Democrat) suddenly become a lightning rod for Republican criticism? (Is it possible the GOP finally added up presidential primary results in Waukesha and realized Democrat votes far outnumbered the Republican faithful?)

COMMUNITY:

Waukesha School Superintendent David Schmidt is retiring. There will be a "send-off" luncheon at the Country Springs Hotel on April 10'th. Co-sponsored by the Waukesha Education Foundation and the Waukesha Chamber of Commerce, there are more groups offering plaudits than time available for speakers. A nice tribute to a man who will be missed. Call the Chamber for details @ 262-542-4249.

Retired Waukesha North Marching Band Director Jim Doepke remains active during retirement. He has announced his desire to play the National Anthem on the trumpet at all Major League Ballparks. Commissioner Bud Selig has endorsed this and we wish Jim the very best!

Kudos to the various Departments of Public Works who kept the streets clear this winter. Let's try to remember the costs connected with this year when their budgets are blown by the end of the third quarter.

We in Waukesha will all feel the loss of Senior Journal Sentinel Editor Bruce Gill who passed away at the young age of 56. He was instrumental in bringing the Waukesha Bureau the resources to showcase the goings-on in our Community. He will be remembered as a class act.

FAMILY:   

Upcoming trip to Mexico with four families holds promise of relaxation, sun, warmth, friendship, and many memories for the upcoming year. (Why do "Dirty Monkeys" and "Miami Vice" beverages only taste good in warm climates?)

Spring Fever has gripped our family. How long before the ice is gone from Okauchee Lake??

 

My son Jordan spent much of Christmas Break time-off from college on the blustery surfaces of Okauchee Lake, He and his friends were... Ice-Fishin'!

No fancy shelters, firepits, or heaters for these intrepid outdoorsmen. These lads went out with their gear loaded in a couple of old 5 gallon paint buckets. Jigs, shiners, tip-ups, and hand-warmers. They carried Jordie's Grandpa Darrell's "Lucky" ice auger and a snow shovel. Spots were scouted and friendly hello's extended to others in the general area. Ice was cleared and after careful deliberation, holes dug.

 And they waited...and talked, and they jigged their lines...and they waited...and "Strike!!" Their tip-up had a line set and they dove for their first-ever ice-fishin' catch - a beautiful Northern Pike. They screamed and jumped and laughed. They could not believe some fish picked their 12" spot on all of Okauchee to hit on a minnow. Other fishermen in the area waved congrats to the couple of college kids who "got lucky". And everything settled back down. 

"Strike!" Another hit - another fish! More laughing and backslapping. Only this time the other fishermen didn't appear quite as happy for my son and friend. The kids didn't even notice - cellphones were out and the boys were calling anyone who would answer with news of their incredible success!

After 2-3 more catches that first day, they packed it in and 7 hours after leaving, they headed home for warmth and storytelling. Digital photos were produced and emailed, and suddenly Jordan had several friends including Jeff, Drew, Ryan and more volunteering to keep him company on his next trip.

There were several more "next" trips to Okauchee with quite a few different buddies. Grandpa's "Lucky Auger" never let them down. Every trip a success. Sometimes only Northern; other times perch and bass for good measure. The fish stories were fun to play over and over again, and yes - they looked cold...really cold. The truth is they enjoyed the best memories ever - each other's company. The upside down buckets provided these kids with the best fishin' memories - memories shared with good buddies.

I know Grandpa Darrell is proud that his Lucky Auger got a second wind with Jordie and his friends. Darrell also noted to all that "he was the first to take Jordan ice-fishing" several years ago. Jordan came home and told his mother how he had called Darrell from the ice to let him know how well they were doing. My own joy at seeing these kids enjoy something non-electronic and get "back to basics" was heartfelt.

They are back at school now. The fish were all "catch & release". The auger dried-off and put away. The tip-ups and jigs now stored in those 5 gallon buckets. And, under strictest orders from my son, I can only tell you the holes have frozen back over on  "that southern part of the Lake". 

Like the ice on Okauchee, my son and his buddies will return.

    

This is the time of year to reflect, and a time to prioritize the important things in one's life. It's also the perfect opportunity to appreciate and respect how many positive things happen around us in the Waukesha area. Things may not be perfect here, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. Stay focused on these positives in 2008 - It's a better place to expend your energies. 

On behalf of myself and my family, we wish a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Season to all!

Last night we visited Frame Park and took in the 2007 Badgerland Water Ski Show. While enjoying the show, a wave of memories surfaced…

Our entire family joined the Badgerland Team in the mid-90’s. As parents, we were simply hoping our young kids would learn to ski more proficiently. Well – things don’t always turn out as you planned. Our kids certainly became proficient skiers, but their club opportunities and experiences continue to play huge roles in their lives more than 12 years later.

Team History
Badgerland was formed 24 years ago and has skied on Nagawicka Lake, Silver Lake, Lake Keesus, Fowler Lake, and on the Fox River within Frame Park. In addition to numerous WI State Championships, they are past National Champions. They consistently place in the “TOP 10” Nationally to this day. Family-oriented, the shows feature skiers and performers aged 4 to 70! The Show Skiing; pyramids, barefooting, jumping, water ballet, swivel skis and more, is a colorful, fast-paced blend of precision skiing coupled with an ongoing stage show (you know…good guys vs. bad guys…good guys get the girls!).


The Family - Then!
As a direct result of Badgerland, our kids gained poise, believe in teamwork, understand the need for practice and discipline, developed stage presence, and learned the values inherent from skiing with “The Best”. They performed at Summerfest, Harleyfest, Riverfest, and countless road shows criss-crossing the Country. Quite literally, they helped bring that “Badgerland Magic” to hundreds of thousands of fans. Kelly and Caitlin have been on world-record pyramids; the Club has been on all the local television networks, ESPN, Outdoor Life, and the list goes on… Our oldest, Kelly, traveled as a high school senior with several team members to China in 2002 where they competed against the Chinese National Team – once in front of +100,000 spectators! As an aside, volunteer clubs get everyone involved. Before I knew it, my summers were spent on hot stages as an announcer, initially in a full tux playing the role of a casino owner followed by turns as a tribal chieftain in a grass skirt; a camp counselor in knee socks; and worse.

The Family – Fast Forward to today!
Kelly, Jordan, and Caitlin are tremendous skiers with abilities to swivel, jump, barefoot, and even climb 20 feet in the air on water-skiing pyramids! Like most club members, past and present, they are natural performing hams who love making difficult skiing appear effortless. More importantly, our “kids” show little or no fear towards public speaking; they interface well in group activities; they have instructed and introduced dozens of younger kids to their first-time “up” on skis; and it’s now obvious to us the many positives show-skiing played in their development. One of Kelly’s recent job interviews ended with the interviewer asking her all about her show-skiing experiences - she got the job!


The banks of the Fox River came alive last night as boat after boat brought the grace, beauty, splendor, comedy, speed, and excitement of Badgerland Show Skiing to (almost) Downtown Waukesha. With the season winding down, there are still 2 remaining 6:30 Wednesday evening shows. And the shows are free!!

…Now wouldn’t it have been great if I had learned to ski?

The golf driving range could be considered a microcosm of parenting. We bring our kids into our lives at the tee boxes with short clubs and big dreams. Parents then offering advice and support as the young learn to “take their swings”. Over years, the young grow up and the advice from behind the tee mats diminishes…

My son Jordan and I went to the "driving range” today. Jordan has evolved to become a solid mid to upper 70’s golfer. Watching him go through his drills, I was taken back to the Jordan of old. The Jordan who could, at 3-4 years old, hit a plastic ball with a plastic club with a solid, fluid motion. There were early memories of taking him to the range and offering reinforcement of “a straight-back takeaway and maintaining an even tempo swing”. No matter the quality of shot, we always found something positive to share and reflect on later.

Every father who has coached his son knows the uniquely warm feeling when they execute a great shot which is immediately followed by their backward glance of pride - and their hope you saw it. They paused and waited for those parental words of support and acknowledgement which were as important to them as the thrill of a well-driven ball. Interestingly, as my son gets older, I now recognize how much his desire for approval meant to me back then. His youth prevented his sensing my growing pride in him which was deeply rooted in marveling at his progress. Then again, it is possible he intuitively knew his progress and successes as a golfer were shared, quietly, by me.

Watching him now hit at age 20, he still occasionally turns back, only now it’s with satisfaction and a “Hey Dad – pretty nice, huh?” look. And while the shots are now better (some fairly awesome), and much longer, he might not be looking for as much advice from “behind the mat” these days. But it is obvious that “little boy” who looks back for my stamp of approval is still very much alive and well.

What a great Father’s Day gift!

Summer is right around the corner. The fishing boat just received a new fish locator which guarantees success on the water (and below it). And, while looking forward to the upcoming months, I also have to recognize this year as a “biggie” in our parenting: Our two daughters are graduating!

Kelly, the oldest, graduated from the business school at UW La Crosse, moved back home for a day, and left for a 3½ week back-pack tour of Europe. This will be followed by job interviews and her eventual (sooner rather than later?) embarking on a career in marketing and public relations.

Caitlin, the youngest in our clan, will be graduating from Waukesha North in a few short weeks. She started in a new job this past week, and restaurant hostessing appears to be a good fit for her and the dining establishment. Her summer will culminate in her moving to dorm life at UW La Crosse and applying her time to class and studies (OK… – Include some social activities as well).

The cumulative effect on me has been somewhat unsettling. My wife and I feel it was just “a couple months ago” that these girls started high school and college, and now they are both graduating 4 years later! We both remember having dinner with a very good business friend and his wife in La Crosse and asking them to act as surrogate parents “in case our daughter needs immediate assistance”. The memories of saying “goodbye” to Kelly that late summer night in 2003, 4 years ago, and driving home from La Crosse, lost in our own thoughts, seem as clear as if they happened last month.

Watching “Little Caitlin” go off to high school was a reality check for us. Caitlin truly enjoyed the “High School Experience” (she learned from her older brother and sister) and maximized everything the Waukesha District has to offer: Full, challenging class loads; loads of interesting extracurriculars; marching band trips; new friendships; and now a “Summer of Fun” before she heads out. Why, her marching band New York Macy’s trip – a very memorable trip, was way back in 2004 !

This year is indeed a “biggie” in my life as a parent. And yes, as most parents will tell you, these years do fly by. Certainly there is no reason to suspect the next 4 years won’t be different and all 3 kids will be out of college. “Empty Nesting” is imminent…It all seemed to happen in the blink of an eye.

Maybe, lurking just beneath the surface (similar to the fish taunting me at Okauchee?) of my sub-consciousness, there is a sense of the unknown awaiting us as parents and as a married couple. The kids are doing well, progressing, and their dependency on us will (should) wane. Maybe the “dreaded unknown” is really not so much concern for our children anymore as it is an acceptance that time is quickly accelerating by...

OK – Too much introspection for today. Time to go fishing!

Does "sticker shock" occasionally keep you from selecting that premium steak place? Are you impacted by the pace set by the restaurant's reservation book and the conversations of the too-close next table? Do the ala carte prices affect what kind and how much wine you have? And after a great meal out, does the dinner check typically average about $150.00 - 200.00/couple?

Here's an option that took the chill out of one of our recent winter whiteouts - Dinner in!

Six of us got together to celebrate the wives' birthdays. The men decided it would be our turn to wait on these fine examples of pulchritude in the manner they are so deserving of - "Hand and Foot." We planned the menu, we shopped the stores, we reconnoitered, we compared notes and, finally, we were ready for our turn to really turn on the charm.

The evening started with a 3-litre bottle of a South African Shiraz, cheeses (3 - Gouda, Swiss, and Cheddar w/cranberries), crackers, and guarded looks on the women's faces. After an unhurried time, the ladies were seated as Jim and Paul fired-up the grill. Fresh flowers and candles added to the mood. A fresh relish tray (w/cracked ice on top) consisting of radishes, black olives, celery and carrot sticks, and green onions was passed as the freshly-tossed salads were served. Again, conversations were somewhat reflective of Colleen's, JoAnn's, and Sue's concerns that maybe things were going "too well." Salads were completed and the main course was served!

Filet mignon for the ladies while the gents had bone-out ribeyes. Seared and grilled by Paul perfectly, the steaks were accompanied by asparagus in Hollandaise sauce; 3 lbs. of mushrooms flash sautéed; and baked potatoes (covered in extra-virgin olive oil and hand-rubbed by Jim with sea salt before baking) averaging over 1lb. each! Rolls and Italian bread filled available spots on the table. Birthdays and friendship were toasted, and the blizzard outside went unnoticed.

As the entrees were finished to the best of everyone's ability (there were doggie bags), the women were finally relaxing, and a zesty sorbet was presented which cleansed the palates. NOTE: No one makes desserts like my wife Colleen. When she found out the men were planning dinner, she promptly "whipped-up" a cheesecake and strawberry schaum tortes from scratch. Needless to say, we men are weak...and we accepted her offer.

Desserts were ultimately served balanced by fresh-ground Colombian coffee topped with a little of the whipped cream from the schaum tortes. And the wine was finally finished! The guys cleaned the table, Jim cleaned the kitchen, and we rejoined the conversations.

WHY!?... YOU SAY WHY DID WE DO IT? Because Jim, Paul, and I knew we could! Because we really wanted to do something unique and special for the ladies! Because the planning without our wives' input made it that much more special for us! Because we really wanted to have a throwback meal where we conversed and ate at our pace, not the dining establishment's.

Costs for dinner were literally less then a third of dining out. Sure we shopped, prepped, cooked, and cleaned-up, but it was truly worth it. And it was heartwarming for me to observe women who often exhibit "control freak" behavior around their kitchens finally relax and marvel that their husbands could actually plan and then pull a culinary feast off!

Chef's hats off to Jim, Paul, and myself! And ladies, that Saturday dinner was just a gentle reminder "nudge" of the many reasons you married us so long ago...

In one of my other endeavors, I serve as Chair of the Waukesha Education Foundation (WEF).
The WEF raises money to give back to the District in grants, scholarships, and endowments. These funds can only be used for programs and opportunities outside of traditional education rigor. In short, the WEF accentuates the learning experiences for the students in the Waukesha School District.

As the WEF Chair, my proximity to the District often encourages comments from parents and other concerned parties about the extreme financial challenges confronting Waukesha schools. After explaining what the WEF can and cannot do, their follow-up questions mostly deal with "How bad is it really?" and "Why isn't anybody doing anything about it?"

Answer to question #1: It's bad...really bad! And unless something changes, almost immediately, it will have a compounding effect which will be felt by students, parents, teachers, area businesses (employers), real estate agents, and everyone else in the path of this ripple. Larger average size classes, continued cuts in staffing, elimination of "unneeded" (band, sports, drama, clubs, DECA) programs, and many more cuts are awaiting us in the upcoming years.
Alarmist opinion??!! No - Much more a realist approach!!

On to question #2: No one person can do anything about it! The basic State funding program (forged in the mid-90's) increases the amount of money for the District in lesser amounts then the District's costs increase. In this scenario, and in order to balance the budget, cuts must be made. One can argue where to cut costs including educator salaries and benefits, class size, get back to "readin', writin', and 'rithmetic," and many other theories. The facts are; Cuts are happening as you read this and every local, legal remedy is being considered by the Waukesha School Board.
In summary: "District funding is insufficient to maintain status quo, and there is nothing any one person can do!" There are opportunities for change available, but in all sincerity, it will take many to accomplish this.

Writing to Gov. Doyle is one avenue - but why stop there? He's 60 miles away in Madison. Get your local State Representatives attention - this is theirs and our "Ground Zero", and isn't this their official purpose anyhow - to represent us? And if they cleverly and conveniently push the blame off on Doyle, high taxes, Funding Formulas, the opposing political party, etc., ask for their "clear and concise" professional and personal opinion on what is occurring and what the effects will be if this problem continues? Simplistically raising taxes for Waukesha schools won't be the answer from any currently-elected officials, and it's truly not a good solution long-term.

Now is a very good time to get educated on the challenges of school funding today! There are workshops and listening sessions occurring. Visit one and learn more. If you sense and believe in the importance and urgency of what lies ahead, then maybe you too will engage. And ultimately the power of one has the potential to become the voice of many.

 
The Sadie Hawkins Dance Night has arrived. Our daughter had her “group” over. The (8) seniors enjoyed dinner and stories after the hum-drum of perfunctory picture-taking. And now they are off to their second-to-last formalized school event before graduation.
It’s also my wife’s and my second-to-last event - the difference being that our run of events was quite a bit longer then our daughters’. We started “our” run (8) years ago with our oldest. A quick count shows our picture archive should have (35) different sets of pictures: Homecoming, Sadie’s, and Proms times (3) kids times (4) years with only the last prom to go.
Sometimes the same date shows up for multiple appearances – some “runs” were longer then others; often the faces changed as often as the Events; and the longest “same couple” series continues as our collegiate sophomore son is still dating the same sweet girl.
What about the dresses and sport coats they wore? Did we rent an offsite storage space to save these items – assumedly to give them back to the kids some day? Or is there a secret, very large closet lurking in my house where these clothes remain - hoping the styles (in the correct sizes?) come back some day?
Regardless, the lasting memories won’t be wrapped-up in the pictures (Who was that girl with Jordan at sophomore Homecoming anyhow?). And the dispersal of these “memorable, one-time” garments to the kids when they have room to store them will assuredly bring tears to my wife’s eyes as she realizes another phase of raising our kids has come and gone. And could I really remember back to where they had dinner at Homecoming 2001?
The memories started coming back to me tonight: The excitement of the girls looking for dresses with their Mom. Finding a sport coat that would fit my ever-growing son (4) weeks after we bought it. Secretive phone calls to the parents of the date to make sure the flowers matched the color of the dress or tux. Getting pictures printed the next morning (pre-digital era) so the kids could re-live the night the next morning. Post-prom sleepovers where we force-fed juice and breakfast to kids attempting to function on 2-3 hours sleep. Limos for (18) pulling into our cul-de-sac and then watching the guys get in before the girls. Dried flowers with petals falling off still hanging in corners of our basement from some long-forgotten time.
And now, after all the build-up, all of the anticipation, all of the hopes for “The Very Bestest Whatever Event ever”, it’s coming to an end… The kids have mostly forgotten most of the particulars of these events and they continue moving on. Amazing - they’re moving forward… and my mind and the memories are reflecting backwards.
Thanks, kids – thanks for the memories of your Homecomings, Sadie’s, and Proms.
 
 

 

Christmas arrived on December 22’nd this year.

Every year my family asks “What do you want for Christmas this year?” Every year I give the same ritualistic response: “Good kids”.

My wife received a call from the Waukesha North School Resource Officer, Terry Thieme. Officer Thieme related how our senior daughter, Caitlin, had been commended for turning in a “wad of money”. She found the money in a school hallway and, without disturbing or counting the money, turned it in to the Officer.

The bundle of money was $107! His call reflected on how a fellow student had reported the loss and was able to identify and get the money back. We were told the student had the money to pay for Christmas presents. We also received an email from the North H.S. Principal, Dr. Ryan Champeau, congratulating us on Caitlin's actions.

The Officer has a fund which rewards students for positive actions. He gave Caitlin $25. She rejected the reward because she was “just doing the right thing”. When pushed, she accepted the money and then promptly drove to the Elmbrook Humane Society where she donated it in the name of Waukesha North. (She has volunteered there over the years.)

Interestingly, Caitlin had not even found her actions worth mentioning at home…

It's rare when as parents you get concrete validation that your efforts and hopes are paying off. Our entire family is very proud of Caitlin from start to finish. Hers is a heart-warming story for the holidays, and I have to believe the student who lost the money has to be relieved.

Christmas came early this year to the Walt household, and I received everything I asked for and more – “Good…no…Great Kids!”

Here’s to the most unsung hero of the 2006 Walt Holiday Season – my wife, Colleen!

My co-workers have just left our home following a nice out-of-office get together and clean-up commences once again. Fast becoming a choreographed routine, Colleen has once more organized, cooked, arranged, set-up, and presented a wonderful array of appetizers, snacks, treats, and beverages. …Enough to feed our group and another dozen or so.

Feeling guilty because clean-up is disproportionate (“I’ll do it because you don’t know where it goes…”), I was overwhelmed by the amount of personal effort and number of hours Colleen has invested to make these Holidays special for Family and friends alike. (6) Christmas trees (4’H or larger) individually decorated and color coordinated to match the rooms they are in; another 4-5 smaller trees in bedrooms; and her special “Rock ‘N Roll” tree layered in singing ornaments with Elvis, Bing, Sinatra, Marilyn and many more musical icons represented in the kids lower-level disco. Every surface including mantels and hearths, stair railings, counters, ledges, is festooned with bright festive decorations.

And as I was actually, finally, taking the time to recognize and acknowledge her work, I heard our kids’ voices. Suddenly the true sense of Holiday spirit came over me. Kelly and Jordan are home from college; Caitlin finished her school day; …we’re home together as a family! A warm feeling welled-up while recalling the many memories we have shared over the years during the Holidays: the many ornaments with special significance harking back to the kids first Christmases; the fireplace stockings so critical on St. Nick’s; milk and cookies for Santa; the many different shapes and sizes of Christmas presents under the tree on Christmas morning; and the parental transition from excitement for the young kids to appreciation for the shared experiences we have had.

Thank you Colleen! Assuredly, you are not taken for granted! You truly have made this special time all the better for those around you. Photos and movies are fine, but in the coming years the true spirit of the Walt Family Holidays will live on in the rich textures of our personal memories.

The Thanksgiving Holidays have come and gone. This year's Feast was hosted by the in-laws and it held many special meanings. Our (2) UW LaCrosse kids were home as was my wife's brother from Las Vegas. The cousins and grandchildren were all in attendance. The house was alive with warm feelings, and the smells of cooking turkey, dressing, pumpkin and apple pies, and much more filled the air.

The grandkids caught-up with each other during dinner in the dinette. Stories touching on each other's lives were exchanged with several promises made to see each other during the upcoming semester break. The adults "deformalized" the formal dining room with teasing and bad humor that somehow seemed just right. The food was savored and complimented; tired and old family stories resurfaced; harmless jokes were made - usually at someone's expense; and Grandma Ginny lapsed into her comfort zone as she tried to keep order while making sure we all had too much to eat.

The contrast between Thursday's family gathering and Friday morning's retail free-for-all was striking. How did I lapse from truly appreciating the genial family Thanksgiving mood to then, just 10 hours later, becoming a rabid, maniacal Friday AM shopper willing to almost commit a felony in my pursuit of those coveted "Doorbuster Specials"?

Was it the "once in a lifetime" savings? Would I be judged better by my neighbors if I could brag about how little I paid for items not really needed? (What was really wrong with my old shop vac?) Did it feel good to "compete and triumph" over others in the melee of competitive shopping? What if "everyone else is doing it" and I wasn't a part of it?!

...And now my kids have gone back to school; the brother-in-law is on his way home; leftovers have already been sampled; and we have the tender reassurances of another round of Thanksgiving memories being added to the family archives.

It's striking how comforting those personal memories are - and how insignificant and trivial my "retail bonanza" has already become.

A lesson learned as I approach the balance of the holidays...