A Fine Line

It’s that time of year again. Time for lawsuits about nativity scenes in the public square, arguments about religious music that got snuck into “holiday” concerts, memos about not decorating schools with Jesus or Santa, editorials about the holiday tree, or discourse about Wal Mart finally deciding to wish people a Merry Xmas instead of the ubiquitous “Happy Holidays” which has always struck me as hilarious anyway. Everyone knows Happy Holidays means Merry Christmas to someone who isn’t yet a Christian but given enough time and prayer, will be.

I wonder if I should start wishing my non-believing friends, “Patience!” or to friends who are holding out making a decision just in case there is a God and they die and go to hell a cheery, “Happy Ambivalence!“

Instead of telling any of them to have a blessed holiday season, I’ll tell them to have a lucky one.

I loved the long, long parade of Menorah topped cars along Port Washington Drive last week. Although I had to wait for the 8X 200 oversized candles to pass, it was totally worth it. I figure every year they have to put up with two months of micro-chip versions of already annoying songs, shelves of smell bad candles and Xmas mugs from people who mean well, but assume too much. It’s time they got to share the street with the reindeer. While I'm at it, I would like to see some public Walgreen acknowledgement of people who celebrate “Festivus” and those pastafarians out there who would probably like to be wished a very noodly New Year. May I be the first.

I appreciate that Shorewood administrators and board members remind staff that our clients have diverse ways of living and thinking and not to overdue the Christmas stuff. Even so, there are plenty of snowmen surrounded with wrapped presents, reindeer strung around the windows and Rudolph sweaters with twinkling light-up noses that make it through the doors with adults not quite able to not advertise that they celebrate Xmas. Of course, it is understandable that people believe they are what they believe. If we teachers could start our thinking about social studies with that premise, our lessons would be interesting indeed. What makes people fight over land, defend a building, sacrifice their lives? Religion is in there somewhere almost every time. Even if we can’t accept what other people think, we must at least accept that people do think differently than we do and make decisions based on those beliefs in their everyday lives. Those beliefs are what makes everyday lives, and that is often forgotten in elementary social studies lessons.

So bring on the steroidal menorahs, the drunk Santas, bags bright with burning candles, noodly appendages and all 12 days of Christmas . We can handle it.

Seems like there is a buzz in Shorewood about making some large statement type changes. Downtown Shorewood is taking on a new look, SHS is getting thousands of dollars worth of makeover, a new park is being planned around Atwater beach and the beloved spork has been replaced by real flatware at one elementary school that I know of.

As a person who is experiencing daily, the effects of the last big wing dig over at Lake Bluff, may I offer some suggestions for planners to consider as they flip through the color samples and hardware options?

1. Consider the client. Now, most elementary schools are staffed with women. The average height is probably about 5’6, weight maybe 135. If you install cabinets, measure the distance between the top surface of the cabinet to ensure that someone can actually reach across said cabinet to lets say, open the windows. Many teachers have to climb up on top of the cabinets in order to open the windows when it starts getting hot and the air conditioning is…oh that’s right there is no air conditioning at the elementary schools.

Also, imagine standing just slightly beyond arms reach of a very, very heavy and hard to push window. You have to lean forward, so the cabinet edge pushes into your ribcage as you get on your tiptoes. You set your elbows hard on the surface so as you curl your fingers under and try to lift, you don’t pull any arm muscles. This is probably no problem to people the height of the installers, however.

2. If you insist on making windows that lock, make the locks workable. Many of us have to use pliers to squeeze the locking part open, or push up the locking piece with a crowbar, or hammer claw. It gets to the point where it’s easier to just push the windows almost closed so you don’t have to fight with a piece of metal for 10 minutes when you should be getting things ready for the students.

3. If you are going to install electrical outlets, don’t put them on the baseboard under cabinets that you need to open and close. Unless you use all your electrical items actually on the floor, the cord has to stretch from the surface of the counter, straight down the front of the cabinet door, making it impossible to use something that plugs in and open a cabinet at the same time.

4. If you are going to have windows installed, get them to fit so the sound of whistling wind isn’t louder than the little kid trying to read in front of the class for the first time. While it adds a nice scary touch at Halloween, it is extremely annoying during the rest of the year.

5. If you are going to use shades on your windows, don’t. I can’t imagine how much of the payroll goes to people repairing or replacing shades that don’t work. Better to just tint all the windows and be done with it.

6. If you are planning of children making use of your new structure, put sinks, paper towel and soap at a height anyone can use them. It’s easier for taller people to bend than short people to try to come up with artificial height.

7. Kids can’t flush toilets with the metal pushers. They aren’t strong enough, or they don’t want to reach over the toilet to do it. They are afraid they’ll fall in. They also need locks they can work, but stall doors short enough they can crawl under. Their fear of someone seeing them is almost as great as the fear of being trapped with nothing but a toilet and paper dispenser to live on until someone notices they are gone, which they think will be never.

While schools are set up great for adults, if there was an OSHA for kids, heads would be rolling. Whatever is conceived of and executed in attempts to improve Shorewood, please have designers, architects and builders willing to make it work while on their knees. If they can’t reach, pull, push, open, start or turn off something, the chances are good half the community won’t be able to either.

Just a little something to consider as we begin work on the silk purse that will be Shorewood.